I opened the door to…chaos. Wendy was hovering at the side, while my mother was between Alannah’s legs. Alannah, the sweet girl, was screaming her head off. “Fuck this, it hurts.” She sobbed at the ceiling while my mother patted the outside of her thigh.
“You are doing great, Momma. Just breathe.” My mother soothed, and I felt her push her soothing aura out, but Alannah wasn’t settling. She reared up, a contraction hitting her, and she screamed as she clutched the blankets at her sides.
“Fuck you. Fuck you Temen. How could he leave me tonight?” She screamed to the ceiling, to the sky. If she could, she would be screaming it to him. “Fuck you too, Moon Goddess…how could you do this to me and my babies.”
“Hush love. The Goddess is kind, but there are lines.” My mother rubbed her knee trying to calm her down before she crossed it, but Alannah still cried.
“No!” She shook her head in anger. “This isn’t fair.” She sobbed as the contraction broke and she dropped back down onto the bed, panting through her tears. “It’s not fair. My mate should be here.” She turned her head towards me. “He should be here with me.” Her pain was raw, and still so fresh. She had just lost him, and now their babies were coming early. I felt my heart break for her. I crouched down at the side.
I felt a tear hit my cheek. “Lan, I’m so sorry.” I gripped her hand as she closed her eyes and cried harder.
I watched as a figure took shape behind her. “I am Anwyl.” His eyes only on her face. “I hate that I can’t hold your hand. But I am here.” His voice was soft at first, and at first Alannah was crying too loudly to notice. But by the end, he had settled into the bed with her, and her eyes popped open, like she felt her other half was there. She turned, and her eyes found him.
“You came.” She reached for him but hesitated. “But you’re not here.”
He shook his head. “I’m not.” He raised a hand to hover over hers. The pain on his face was heart- wrenching. He shook his head as a silver tear trailed down his face. “But I will stay with you the entire time.”
“But it’s not the same.” Alannah cried. “I can’t feel you. You can’t hold me, you can’t hold them.” She struggled to breathe. “I can’t do this.” She shook her head as she pushed herself up in the bed. She pulled her legs back, and my mother tried to grab them, but she shook her off. “I refuse to do this.”
“Anwyl…” Ternen tried to grab for her, but she whirled on him.
“No dammit. You can call me beloved all you fucking want, but I refuse to do this alone. You can go back to the Moon Goddess. No one is being born today.” She leaned against the headboard and then screamed as another contraction hit.
My mother looked a little lost. She turned to me and Ternen. “Talk to her.” She shook her head as she
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pushed herself up. “Or else we will lose four souls today instead of the one.”
“What do we do?” Wendy looked a little lost.
But my mom just grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom. “We get prepared to deliver two babies. Whether or not she wants it, these babies are coming.” They closed the door, and I heard running water. They were doing their best to give us some space.
Alannah shuddered as the contraction settled. She cut me a withering look before she held up her hand.” There isn’t anything you can say to convince me.”
I grabbed her hand and felt her resist, but I held tight. She finally relented, and I intertwined my fingers with hers. “I understand.” She tried to pull away again. “I understand because I have been exactly where you are.”
“No, you haven’t.” She shrieked as she fought me, but my other hand snapped out, and I rubbed circles on her arms.
“You are right…in a way.” I sighed as I settled onto my knees. “In my first life, the baby wasn’t big enough to survive. But I was forced to bring him into this world alone. While my mate stood just beyond the door calling for my death. But I know what it feels like not to want my baby to come into the world.” She stilled.
She took a haggard breath as she looked at me. “I can’t do this alone.”
“And you won’t be. Ternen is here. My mom and Wendy are here.” I gave her a sad smile. “I wish I could
stay with you.”
She just looked away. “Ternen isn’t here though. His soul is. But not him. Not the man who held me through everything. Not the mate I prayed for and found on my birthday. Not the savior who gave his all for his children. The Moon Goddess took that away from me.” She looked back at me. “She can take all of us. Because I refuse to do this without him.”
“And you won’t have to.”
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