Chapter 199
The kiss melted my bones. Heat started in my center and then exploded out of me. My hands tangled in his hair and he groaned as I launched myself from the ground and into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.
His tongue teased at the seam of my lips until I opened for him and then his tongue delved between them, tangling with mine. He wrapped one arm around my back and the other clutched my ass tightly against him. I groaned in repressed need. Goddess, he was perfect.
The kiss lasted less than a minute, but it was imprinted on my soul, and I knew in one crystalized moment this man would be the end of me. Whether it be together, wrapped in his arms, or alone and shattered, a forgotten toss away in his conquest for his queen. I didn’t know the answer, but he was either my everything or my death. That I was certain of with an almost finite clarity.
He was the first to pull away, placing his forehead against my own. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes fluttered open. “Why are you sorry?” My voice sounded needy and breathless and I felt his hard length. that was pressed against my center flick against me.
“Because…” He pulled away. “I like you, Amy. A lot. But I promised myself a long time ago that I would only give myself to my mate, my queen, my soul mate.” His eyes held a sorrow that made my heart cry out for him.
“And that isn’t me…” I answered as his clenched his eyes shut.
“That isn’t what Im saying.” He grabbed for my hand. “I don’t know if you are meant for me. I would explain it, but I can’t, not yet.” I furrowed my brow and tried to tug my hand away.
“What are you talking about?”
His fingers tightened on mine. “Please.” His voice begged, and I softened. I gave a tiny nod, and he pulled me back to my couch, pulling me down onto his lap. “After my mom was killed. And I had to watch my dad disappear a little each day without his mate. I made myself a few promises. One was that I would only be with my mate. The other, well, it’s a little more difficult. But the gist of it was that I wouldn’t bring my mate into my current situation. So until all of this is figured out, I won’t bring a female into my mess.”
I stared down at him and his eyes were so open. He was laying everything out for me. And he was letting me make the choice. “So what does that mean…for this?”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Goddess, I don’t know. But I like you Amy. And I don’t want you to question it. But I know we both have our parts to play I this. And I’m terrified.”
“Why?”
He pulled back, and his eyes shifted. His voice came out deeper, rougher, and I knew I was speaking to his wolf. ” Hello rabbit.”
“Hello wolf.” I smirked as he smiled. His smile was stunning.
“My human is failing to explain this, because he doesn’t want to hurt you. So I came up to let you know my feelings about this matter.” He was so matter of fact. I liked that, so I nodded.
“Okay.”
“There are people watching us, waiting for us to get too close, trying to tear us apart before we get there. And while it is annoying, it’s an opportunity. One we feel like we have to take.” He looked a little sorry about what we were explaining
“What kind of opportunity?”
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“One which we both will have our parts to play. And then maybe once we figure it all out, we can explore this between us more.” He leaned in and smelled my neck. “You are keeping your own secrets, rabbit, and I am champing at the bit to figure it out, but I know you have your own reasoning.” He pulled back. “But I want to be honest with you, too.” He started into my soul with his white blue eyes. This close, I realized his bright blue eyes were ringed with a darker, midnight blue ring
“I want to be honest with you.” I nodded.
He nodded and then looked away. “My human, he is very much set on you. You are all he thinks about, even if your scent is wrong.” I wanted to chuckle, but he continued. “But there is a wolf I am interested in. I don’t know her human, I don’t even know her name, but I am set on her.”
“Oh…”
His eyes snapped to mine. “But neither of us will make a choice either way until all of this is over. And I won’t deny him, as he won’t deny me. I don’t want you to think that any decision is set in stone. He likes you very much, with an intensity I have never seen from him.”
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His words were a soft balm on the pain I was feeling. But I needed to get a little space. So I slid off his lap, and I saw a flash of hurt flash in his eyes. “I like him too. But my wolf actually feels the same about another, so I understand.” I slid next to him and grabbed his hand. “But what did you mean about an opportunity?”
Regret flashed in his eyes and then they faded to his normal brown. Rowan was back. “Hi.” He was struggling with something.
“Hey.” I smiled and grabbed his hand. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed. “What I’m about to say will make zero sense and I know already it isn’t fair, but it’s how I feel, okay?”
I turned to face him. “Okay.”
“I don’t like that your wolf likes this unknown male.” Hu huffed out a laugh. “And like I said, I know I’m a hypocrite. Okay, I do, but I wish you both just liked me…”
I listened as he explained and smiled, but it was a little sad. “I feel exactly the same way. But we can’t change our wolf’s mind. They have to figure out their own feelings, just like us.”
Rowan nodded and then growled. He grabbed my face and kissed me again, making my eyelids flutter. “I wish all of this was over. So that our wolves could spend time together, so we could spend time together and really see this through.” He leaned against me and I heard him pulling in my scent.
“We still can.” I offered, but he pulled back and I saw something new behind his eyes. He looked a little lost with a mixture of guilt.
“Actually…” He pulled back and shook his head.
“What?”
“Your father had this idea…”
I felt those words hit, and immediately I was on edge. My father always had plans. “What is it? I know you’re trying to ease me into it, but just tell me.”
He nodded. “You father knows that you are going to have to get close to Brandon. I know you dad is on edge about it but he won’t tell me why.” 1
I nodded. “I promise to explain it to you when all of this is over.” I pushed that to the side.
Rowan stared at me and then kept going. “He told me that eventually, you will have to get close to him, and having me around will just get in the way.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I won’t like it.” His voice dropped to a growl. “I won’t like it at all. Even as it stands, I might just kill him.”
“Why?”
“Because you are menat to be mine.” He stood and was panting. His eyes flashed to his wolves and then back to his. His claws descended, and then he paced away. He was shaking as he turned to stare at me. I watched as he tried to calm himself down, and finally he settled. “Sorry.” He shook his shoulders out and ten came back, settling
next to me,
“Okay…I don’t know what that means for us.” I looked down at my hands, dreading his answer.
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Chapter 200
“It means I have to stay away. And it means I’ll have my own acting I have to do.”
“Rowan, I need you to just lay it all out for me here. It’s nothmaking sense.” My mind was still spinning with his confession and now, with all these plans inside of plans is making it harder to follow.
“You dad thinks I need to stay away from you. Until you finish school…until you crack into Vince’s defenses. Being sad about your father’s death, but being supported by me won’t make you vulnerable enough for Vince and Brandon to think that you are easy prey.” I nodded. “But he has gone a step further.” Dread settled in the pit of my stomach. “He wants me to give into the council.”
1 felt my face pale. “Give in how?”
“He wants me to create space from you and then allow the council to think they are convincing me to accept their chosen mate.”
“What?” I yelled and jumped to my feet. “I’m going to kill him.” My fangs snapped down and Rowan smiled.
“It’s just pretend.“.
“You are mine.” I whirled on him, grabbing his face and kissing him.
