Chapter 153
I don’t bother to thank or look at my cousin. I’ll talk to him later.
My mother takes me to her room and sits me down then squats down in front of me.
“What happened?”
“I messed up! Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I rushed things before I should have. How can I fix it? How can I change it?”
Her strong, sure hands come to my face. “Breathe, Sebastiana. Breathe for me,” she says, holding my gaze and nodding her head as I take some short breaths. When I’m finally able to take a deep breath again, she smiles at me.
“There she is. Now, tell me what happened.”
“I… I don’t know. Things were good, then they weren’t. We were practicing, but it was clumsy and fast and …
I burst into tears. I’m not the kind of girl who EVER bursts into tears.
I expect my mother to freak out, asking what Shane did to me, but instead, she wraps her arms around me.
“I’m right here, baby girl. You’re okay and I’m right here.”
I sob until my eyes are swollen and I feel exhausted.
“I don’t know what happened,” I say when I finally pull away from her.
She takes my face in her hands and wipes the tears off my cheeks with her thumbs.
“Do want my opinion?” she asks.
I nod.
She smiles. “You pushed too hard, too fast, sweet girl. I know you like to be in control, but having sex, especially in the beginning, it’s not something that should be pushed or rushed.”
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Chapter 153
288 Vouchers
“I know you’ve told me that, but…” I stop when her finger presses against my lips.
“It’s time for you to listen, Sebastiana,” she says. I nod again.
“You have always gone after what you’ve wanted, baby girl. I admire that about you. You are an amazing woman. You know what you want, and you go for it. And ninety–nine percent of the time, that will work for you. But, in this instance, it won’t, and it didn’t. You need to slow down. You need to take a breath and a step back. You need to relax, and you need to realize that not everything can be gained by bulldozing your way through it. You allowed a man to enter your body. You don’t want that to be rushed. But you didn’t want to listen…
“It’s not that I didn’t…” Again, the fingers on my mouth.
“You have a very strong personality, my daughter. And that is a good thing. But there are times when finesse is more important than strength. This is one of those times.”
I nod, looking down.
“What do you want, Sebastiana?” she asks.
“I want to be number one on the leaderboard,” I answer immediately.
She tilts my head up so I’m looking at her. “What do you want from Shane?”
I feel my lips trembling. “I want him to know what he’s doing.”
“And that’s not fair. You knew going into this that he didn’t know any more than you did. You want to change the rules because you’ve decided that your rules weren’t working for you. He didn’t ask for these rules, you did. He didn’t ask for Hurricane Sebastiana to come barreling into his life, but you did. You didn’t want to listen to me or your father, and that is
your decisions.” your choice, but you can’t punish Shane for
“What do I do?” I ask, tears dripping from my eyes.
“You back up, and you slow down,” she says.
”
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