Chapter 132
ATASHA’S POV
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“I am asking you to leave,” he said, his voice lower now, rough, strained, but not angry. “Stay far away from me. Atasha. As far as you possibly can.“.
“And I said I won’t,” I shot back, refusing to move. My heart pounded hard enough to make my chest ache, but I didn’t look away.
His jaw tightened, his eyes darkening. “Do you even understand what you’re doing?”
I lifted my chin. “Maybe not. Maybe I’m not that smart to understand anything at all.”
His breath hitched. His eyes burned into me, and for a second, the air between us felt like it was too small for both of us to exist in. My gaze flicked down, just for a second, to his lips. The movement didn’t escape him. His chest rose sharply, his hands flexing at his sides.
“You’re standing in front of a monster,” he said quietly.
“I know,” I whispered. Then, before I could stop myself, I added. “My monster.”
The sound that came from his throat was almost a growl. He stepped closer until his body brushed mine. The warmth that rolled off him made my knees weaken. He didn’t touch me, not yet, but the nearness was enough to make every inch of my skin ache for it.
“You still don’t understand anything, do you?”
“Then maybe you should be the one to make me understand,” I said before I could stop myself. The words slipped out too fast, too bold, it sounded less like a plea and more like a challenge. A reckless, dangerous one.
Cassian’s lips twitched. “You don’t want that,” he murmured.
“Yes, I do,” I said, though my voice came out shaky. “Maybe I do want to understand.”
He tilted his head slightly, his breath brushing against my ear. “Monsters destroy everything around them, Atasha.”
“Not me,” I said, forcing the words out even as my voice trembled. Even then, I knew for a certain that he… the monster before me would not destroy me.
For a moment, he didn’t move. His gaze stayed locked on mine, searching for something. My chest tightened, and for a fleeting second, I thought about what he’d done, how he’d killed his grandmother, how everyone whispered about what he was capable of. The image flickered behind my eyes.
But I didn’t step back. I couldn’t. Even if he destroyed me, I’d keep standing.
“Even if you destroy me,” I said. “I’ll just heal again. And again. And again.”
His expression darkened further, anger mixing with something I couldn’t name. “You only feel this way
11:00 Tue, Oct 7
Chapter 132
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because I was the first person who saved you,” he said harshly. “Don’t mistake gratitude for something else. You’re confusing me with a savior.”
The words hit me like a slap, but I still met his gaze. “Is that really what you think of me?” I wanted to ask, but my throat was too tight to speak.
“I’ve saved you once or twice, yes,” he added. “But sooner or later, I’ll destroy you. Just like I’ve destroyed everyone else who gets too close.”
I swallowed hard. “Then you can try,” I said, the words trembling out of me. “And I’ll get back up. Again. And again. And again. Until you get tired.”
We were so close now that our breaths tangled. His scent, iron, smoke, and something faintly sweet, filled my lungs. My lips parted, my pulse hammering in my ears.
“I’ll still be there,” I whispered. “By that tree. Watching the sunset with you. Whether you like it or not.”
Cassian’s eyes dropped to my mouth, his voice rough and low. “You really are foolish,” he said, every word scraping against my skin. “You don’t even know what you’re saying.”
“I really am foolish,” I whispered back. And yes, perhaps I don’t even understand most of what I’m saying.
For a moment, it felt like the world stopped. His hand twitched, like he wanted to reach for me but didn’t trust himself to. His breath brushed against my lips, so close that I could almost taste him.
But he didn’t kiss me. He just stood there, trembling with restraint, while the air between us burned.
Then his breathing turned uneven, his chest rising and falling as if every second cost him restraint. I could feel the tension rolling off him, wrapping around the both of us like invisible chains.
I lifted my head slightly, my lips parting just enough to draw his eyes down. The movement was small, careless, maybe foolish, but I saw the effect it had. His gaze darkened, his breath catching for half a second before he forced himself to look away.
A part of me screamed to say it, to tell him to kiss me, to close the distance and finally stop this unbearable pull, but another part made me wait, made me see how far he’d let it go before he snapped.
“If you’re not leaving,” he said, his eyes locked on mine. “Then you won’t even have the time to regret it.”
The threat should’ve scared me. It didn’t.
Instead, a smirk tugged at my lips. “How sure are you,” I said quietly. “That I’d regret anything?”
Cassian’s jaw clenched, his eyes flickering with something dangerous. “You’re standing in front of a monster, Atasha. One that could devour you right now if I stop holding back.”
I met his gaze, my pulse racing, and whispered, “Then let the monster devour me.”
Cassian’s body went still, so still I could hear his pulse hammering in the space between us. His eyes burned red, the kind of red that looked almost alive.
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11:00 Tue, Oct 7
Chapter 132
Then he moved.
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One second there was distance, the next his hands were on my waist, dragging me against him with a force that stole my breath. The impact knocked a sound out of me, half gasp, half something else, and before I could think, his mouth was on mine.
The kiss hit like a storm. It was rough and hungry and all the things he’d been holding back crashing into me at once. His grip tightened at my back, pulling me closer still, like even air was too much space between us.
I didn’t fight it. I couldn’t. My fingers slid up the back of his neck, tangling in his hair as his lips moved against mine, demanding and desperate. Every part of me answered without hesitation, like my body had been waiting for this, aching for it.
He lifted me then–effortless, like I weighed nothing–and I felt the world tilt as my hands clutched at his shoulders. My breath caught when I realized my legs had locked around his hips on instinct, holding him close. His hand pressed against my back, keeping me steady, while his mouth deepened the kiss until I couldn’t tell where mine ended and his began.
Heat poured through me, rushing to every nerve, every thought burned away except for him. The scent of smoke and steel filled my head. I could taste him, feel his heartbeat thudding against mine, the low sound in his throat that made my stomach twist.
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