Chapter 9
During all those months secretly watching over Vivian, Callum asked himself over and over:
Should I just take her? Force her to stay with me?
She’d hate him. Probably despise him. But at least she’d be his.
Especially when he saw her laughing with Garrett. The jealousy felt like it was gonna drown him.
But every time he saw Vivian during one of her episodes, struggling and helpless, he’d put his phone down. Couldn’t do it.
He knew better than anyone-Vivian hated people seeing her like that.
But she never pushed Garrett away during those moments. She’d lean into him, let him hold her.
When she was with Garrett, she looked relaxed. Free. Happy. No sadness in her eyes at all.
He couldn’t take that away from her.
Callum remembered why he fell for Vivian in the first place. He just wanted to see her smile like that forever.
That’s it. That’s all he wanted.
Now she didn’t love him anymore. He couldn’t make her happy. So the least he could do was not destroy the happiness she already had.
ust let her go.
He told himself that a million times.
All he had to do was make it to the wedding. Watch her walk into her own happy ending. Then he’d disappear.
But when the actual day came, Callum finally understood what it meant to feel your heart get ripped out.
f he hadn’t lost his memory, Vivian would’ve been his wife. If he’d just fought off Riley’s manipulation back then, maybe Vivian would’ve waited a little longer….
No matter how he looked at it, this was his fault.
He stared down at that little wooden sculpture Garrett had thrown away-the one he’d carved years ago. Then he ran. Just bolted out of the church like a coward.
Back in the States, he didn’t go home. Drove straight to the monastery where he’d fallen.
He bowed deep to the head monk. “If I spend the rest of my life praying, is there any chance I get a next life?”
The monk looked at him with sad, knowing eyes. “Cause and effect, Mr. Reid. What if this life is already the result of what you
asked for before?”
Callum didn’t get it at first. Not until one random night-
He was scrolling through Vivian’s Instagram, watching some dumb video of her new puppy, smiling at the screen. Then suddenly he felt exhausted. Couldn’t keep his eyes open.
Next thing he knew, he was watching a different version of his life. Like a bystander.
In that life, his parents forced him home. He got his memory back way earlier. He and Vivian got married like they were supposed to.
Not long after, Vivian got diagnosed with ALS. But instead of trying to let him go, she smiled and said they’d face it together.
He heard himself tell her: “We love each other enough to get through anything. I don’t care what’s ahead. I’m with you.”
Sounded romantic. But Callum-the real Callum watching-knew better.
ley was dead. Inside, he was empty. Everything he did for Vivian was just duty.
He climbed every temple staircase in the country on his knees, dragged her to every specialist, held her hand while she ouched stone carvings that said “life” and prayed she’d survive.
But nobody knew that after every climb, he’d hide somewhere and write prayers for Riley’s next life. Hoping she’d be reborn. loping they’d get a different ending.
After Vivian died, he burned every single prayer he’d written for Riley.
lames everywhere. Then this voice-calm, powerful-said: “As you wish.”
he scene shifted-Vivian’s second life. Her calmly telling people not to bring back his memories.
Don’t wake him up.”
Callum gasped awake, drenched in sweat. The room was pitch black. His whole body felt numb, like something had chewed hrough him from the inside.
lis heart was slamming against his ribs so hard it hurt.
le pressed his hand to his chest. It’d been hurting so long he couldn’t even feel it anymore.
le tried to smile. But couldn’t. His eyes started burning. “So this is all my fault. I asked for this.”
le’d been too blind to see what he really wanted. Too stupid to understand his own heart.
le’d brought this on himself.
Jext morning, Callum showed up at the monastery again.
I want to stay. Become a monk.”
The abbot studied him for a long moment, then nodded. “You may.”
Can I choose my own name?”
‘Yes.”
Callum’s voice was quiet. “Vivian.”
Just her name. Nothing else.
He’d spend the rest of his life here, lighting candles for her every single day.
Praying she’d be healthy in her next life. Safe. Loved. Happy from beginning to end.
