When Hidden Lanterns Glow We Find Roads Toward Peace by Ryn Arlo Dane 58

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He was pale as he considered her words and then he exhaled loudly. “There is a ring which is passed down from vovoi to vovoi in our family. Thisbe was always giving me shit for wanting the title, the ring, the position, and she’s not wrong. I did want it. I do want it. However, and I can’t emphasize this enough, I was prepared to walk away from it. It didn’t matter it was my birthright if it came with the cost of my freedom. I didn’t want to marry her. I had told him I wouldn’t do it. He denied me the ring and my position. It was only when I realized they were stealing but being sneaky, I decided I needed to get closer to the family to get my evidence. Thisbe didn’t know my motives other than she thought I was a greedy fucker who wanted his cake and to eat it too.” 

There was a part of her who wanted to shove the gems back into the bags and pass them back to him but there was a bigger part of her who was an artist, a designer, who was already envisioning the creations she could make with the supply he’d brought her. 

“Keep them, January. They are yours. You deserve them. You did all the work, all this time on your own. It’s okay to accept the gift, January. I wanted something which was more than just throwing cash at you and making you feel like I’m trying to buy you. I want you to know, I see you. I see the sacrifices you made. I see that you needed to put your dreamshold:37 because you gave our daughter life. You lost your business 

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partner. You lost the backing you were expecting. I did that. This is just a gift, perhaps to ease my guilt a bit but mostly to see you smile and to see you be able to have a supply of stones which gives you the ability to create the way you’re meant to.” 

“Thank you. I don’t forgive you yet but thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Did you want to talk about your fight with your mom?” 

“She’s overwhelmed and I’m cranky and it was just a boil over waiting to happen but,” she sighed, “over the last several years, more than one time she’s made comments about how her life got put on hold and I get it. I do. I’ve worked really hard to make sure I’m the parent and she’s only the Nana. I never once expected her to change a diaper or do middle of the night feedings and when she did help with things, I made sure to be appreciative and grateful to her. Yet, there would be a moment or a situation she would get pulled into. It happens. when you all live together, she likes to stick her nose into the situation, and I never wanted to exclude her outright. But after a challenging situation, she would mumble under her breath to Dad how she never expected at her age she’d be dealing with babies and diapers and little one in her house again. I would feel like I was intruding and I would double–down again on my efforts to make me and Kaylee take up as little space in the house as possible. I have Kaylee in dance classes and singing lessons and piano lessons. If I need to work on the weekend to finish a project or sale, then I bring her with me or I arrange 

12:37 

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play dates with Darwin. She was always inquisitive. She was born a tempest in a teacup, and she keeps us on our toes. At two she escaped her crib when she was two, grabbed a box of crayons which had been left at the kitchen table and colored the entire length of a wall my mother had just primed white to repaint. At three Mom got the big idea of making Christmas cookies with her and when the house phone rang, Mom went to answer it, and Kaylee dumped the entire jumbo–sized bag of flour right off the counter onto the floor. Dad was mad Mom had left the heavy bag on the counter where if she’d pulled it down on her, Kaylee could have been hurt. Mom was pissed that Kaylee dumped and then dancing in it. There was flour everywhere. At four she was playing in the yard while I was doing some gardening in the front beds and when I looked over, she’d decided Mom’s car was the perfect canvas for her mud drawings. The problem was she using the fertilizer I was putting in the garden beds. It ate through some of the paint on Mom’s car. Every year there is one more big thing Kaylee has done, and you can see Mom is tired of us underfoot. Lately, Kaylee has been even worse. Things are month–to–month or week–to–week with her shenanigans.” She took a breath, “this morning Kaylee was there while Mom was giving me shit about ditching you both. It pissed me off. Usually, I feel like I need to make myself smaller because my mistakes are what threw us into the house together. Today though, she pissed me off.” 

“It sounds like she’s been hard on you for something which is gutside your control.” 

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“Except I didn’t need to leave you yesterday with her like it was her job to entertain you.” 

“She didn’t need to stay!” he argued. 

“That’s what I said!” she looked at him as he took her side. 

“I told her she could have left you on your own with Kaylee. You’re her father. You’re both going to need to get used to one another and Ford was there.” 

“Can I make an admission?” 

“Yes.” 

“She completely took over when Kaylee started to get upset. She didn’t let me manage it at all. She jumped in, pushed me out of the way and honestly, it was making things worse. I wanted to tell her to give me a chance to comfort my kid. I’ve dealt with crying kids before. I know I’m not going to be perfect but damn she was right there judging me.” 

“Oh, she’s judgy!” January shook her head. “Anyway, I told her off for being bitchy and told her maybe it was time Kaylee, and I moved out and got a place of our own.” 

“You spoke out of anger,” he started to defend her. 

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“No. That’s the thing. I was angry. I’m not denying it but,” she 4/6 shrugged, “I’ve felt from the day Mom had to pack up and leave 

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New York that I was a burden. When I call her out on a comment she always backtracks but now I have no reason. It is time. I can parent my child without her involvement. I can raise my daughter with her being the grandmother who lives in a different house, and she visits from time to time, like other normal grandparents.” 

“You want to move out?” 

“Yes.” She took a breath, “I can’t afford a downpayment on a place yet. My rent here is 

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“I owe you backpay in child support. I’ll give you the money for raising Kaylee. You take that money and get a home for the two of you.” 

“You’re not going to insist it’s a house with you in it?” she wasn’t going to be one of those women who refused the money. 

“Nope. Maybe someday you invite me to come back to you but until then, you need a place of your own. I’ll get a place of my own. Kaylee will have bedrooms in both places.” 

“You’ll really help me?” 

“Yes. It’s the least I can do.” 

12:38 

“Good,” she grinned at him suddenly, “there’s a house not far 576 from her school that went up for sale a few months ago. I 

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eyeball it all the time. Every time Mom gives me shit or yells at me or Kaylee, I drive to that house, park in front of it and ogle it. Will you buy it for us?” 

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