Space Needed Part II
“That’s true. We also didn’t raise you to give up.”
“I’m not giving up.” She frowned at her mother’s words.
“No?”
“Are you suggesting I’m supposed to just give into him. and get back with him?”
“Nope. I’m suggesting though you’re throwing up all kinds of barriers and fears as reasons to hate him when your heart wants to love him again. If for no other reason than to peacefully coparent your daughter, you need to let go of the hate.”
“That’s going to be hard to do.”
“You’re a determined woman. You can do it. I’m not saying take him back. I’m with you that I don’t trust him, and I’m very concerned about some of the things Davis has told us. It might be true. It might be exaggerated but he’s a mafia man, January and it does make me nervous.”
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Mom!” Kaylee’s voice bellowed up the stairs and the two
women grimaced at one another.
“Let’s table this.” January waved at her mother. “I’ll try to temper my rage with him in her presence and coparent like you suggest but I don’t know if I can let go of the hate which is eight years in the making.
“I understand.” Her mother held her arms out and January stepped into her hug.
Kaylee’s stomping feet up the stairs made them both sigh with frustration.
“She has no patience at all.”
“Mom!” she slid into the room on her sock feet with her eyes wide. “My Dad asked if we could go out for dinner. All of us. He said it was his treat. Can we go to Burlington?”
“It’s a school night, Kaylee.” The idea of driving an hour in either direction just to dine with Gulliver and his crew made her stomach heave dangerously.
“Mom!” she whined loudly. “I never met my dad before. Please? I promise to go straight to bed when we get home.
I’ll do my homework in the car. Please? Please?”
Her mother whispered in her ear, “better to go out than to have him here too late and expecting to stay.”
The thought made her cringe and she sighed loudly.
“Fine, but we’ll need to leave now.” She looked at her mother, “you’ll come right? I can’t do this alone, Mom.”
“Of course,” her mother squeezed her.
“Why can’t you do it alone, Mom?”
“Because you are a lot of energy Kaylee and I’m tired after a long day of work. I may need your grandparents to drive because I don’t know if I can keep up with you. Papa can drive us back home and we can both sleep in the car.”
Kaylee gave a big shrug as if she knew her mother wasn’t wrong, “what are you doing with my books?”
“I thought maybe Gulliver might like to see your baby pictures.
وو
3ere are some of me in the bathtub Mom! He might see
my butt.”
“Yeah, dads see butts, Kaylee.”
Kaylee made wide eyes and pulled her head back. “I’m seven now. Nobody gets to see my butt.”
“Well, I’ll cover your baby butt, so he doesn’t see it.”
“Whew,” she wiped her forehead dramatically. She turned and ran back down the stairs screaming excitedly, “hey, Dad! Mom said we can go to Burlington for dinner like I wanted. She said Papa has to drive our car though because she’s really tired.”
January and her mother descended the stairs to find Gulliver holding Kaylee up on his hip and her arms looped around his neck, laughing uproariously at something he’d whispered in her ear.
Kaylee noticed her and pointed, “Mom has my baby book to show you but don’t look at the pictures of my butt.”
“There are pictures of your butt?” he made wide eyes at her as if shocked.
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“In the bath when I was a baby. It’s so embarrassing.” Kaylee drawled throwing herself backwards, completely trusting that Gulliver would hold her up.
“I’ll let you take them with you, and you can make copies or whatever.”
“I’ll take them,” Thisbe whispered as she approached
January.
“Great. There’s a restaurant we go to for birthdays and stuff right on the edge of Burlington.” January spoke up and looked at her father who nodded. “Dad can call ahead and get us tables reserved. How many?”
“Just the six of us, I imagine,” Gulliver looked at Thisbe who nodded.
“Your men?”
“Will not be eating with us. They are going to be doing their jobs, which is to keep us safe.”
“They can’t eat and do their jobs?”
They have snacks and they are working, January. Wheil 7
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it’s time for their dinner break, they will switch out with their coverage. They have a security protocol which is taken very seriously.”
“But –”
“January, I promise you I do not abuse or overwork my staff. Just as you get to take breaks, they do as well, but they are working.”
“Okay,” she shrugged at him.
“That being said, I know you’re not comfortable driving with me in my car. I know your father is going to drive you, your mom and Kaylee. I would like for one of my guards to go with you in your vehicle.”
“No!”
“It’s fine,” Terrance spoke up. “We’re happy to have the support.” He tossed his phone to January, and she read the text message from Davis which said he was on his way from New York to see them but was driving.
“Davis?” Gulliver asked curiously. “I bet he is not happy With you for letting me take out all the surveillance 18:17
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equipment.”
“He specifically says to stay home and not to trust anyone.” January tossed the phone back to her father.
“I wouldn’t put it past him to have a team nearby ready to take you, January. Please don’t fight the security team with you and Kaylee. Please?”
“Fine,” she nodded, feeling overwhelmed. The unbidden urge to move closer to him for safety made her angry with herself and instead she backed up and reached for her bag. “Let’s get going then because it’s a school night and I don’t want to deal with the cranky monster named Kaylee tomorrow morning when she needs to go to school.”
“I can’t imagine Kaylee gets cranky.” He tossed her in the air and Kaylee squealed with delight.
“Mom says I’m like her in the morning and it’s why we fight all the time.”
“Your mom was always cranky in the morning, but I knew how to make her cheer up.”
He sent a wicked look her way and she flushed and 18:17
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cleared her throat.
“How?”
“A hot cup of tea. I always brought her tea before she even got out of bed.”
His glance at her was telling her it was not tea he was thinking of, and she turned her back and walked out of the house without a backwards glance. She needed fresh air, space and distance from the emotions she was feeling.
Dinner Part I
By the time they arrived at the restaurant, after an hour and fifteen minutes in the back seat of a car, wedged between her daughter and mother, January was feeling incredibly on edge.
Her mother was a hopeless romantic. Despite the fact she was a tough nut with a strong constitution who would never take guff off anyone, the woman devoured romance novels, holiday movies, and a happy ending. She’d been trying for years to get her daughter to date again. The sudden reappearance of Gulliver in January’s life was making her mother be starry eyed, especially since she was believing his story.
“I’m just saying,” her mother whispered trying not to wake up the child who had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant, “is that he seems apologetic and I could tell he wanted very much to be in this car with you
two.”
“He also lied to me deeply.”
“To protect you.”
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She shot an annoyed look at the back of her father’s head for sitting up front and staying silent. She knew he was more like her. There was a fear in him about who Gulliver Raptis really was, based on his brother’s old stories and his friendship with a man who may have deceived them. Yet, she knew even he was second–guessing the situation. However, he, like her, wasn’t one to jump to forgiveness with a few pretty words. Yet, he was being annoyingly silent while her mother gushed about how good Gulliver was with Kaylee already.
She couldn’t get out of the car fast enough, nearly climbing over her mother to circle around to the other side and open the door to get Kaylee out.
“Kaylee, honey, wake up. We’re at the restaurant.” It was coming on five o’clock and all January wanted to do was smash her face into a giant burger and slurp back a milkshake and then sleep on the way home. She needed this child alert so they could get in, order and go home.
The second of the cars pulled up behind her and she wasn’t surprised to see Gulliver alighting as quickly as she had.
You should have waited until we all arrived.” He
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chastised her. “If I thought for a moment you forgot what the protocol was eight years ago, I would have explained it to you before we left. You don’t get out of the car until everyone is in place and security is prepared to cover you into the restaurant.”
She froze at the scolding and felt immediately horrible for potentially putting Kaylee at risk. “I’m sorry. I forgot. I was just thinking how much I wanted to get inside.” She was feeling overrun with her emotions. Her mother laying it on thick about how much he clearly cared was now mixing with her own feelings and him telling her off was making her weepy.
“Kaylee,” she caressed the child’s face again, her back to the larger–than–life man, “we’re here at the restaurant and your dad is here. He wants to have dinner with you. Why don’t you open those pretty eyes, and we can go in and have dinner?”
Kaylee slowly opened her eyes, her cheeks flushed and her eyes struggling to focus around her.
“Hey pretty girl. We’re at the restaurant.”
366ny dad here?”
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January felt a tug in her chest at the question. “He’s right behind me, actually.”
“Can he carry me into the restaurant?”
“You’re a big girl,” January protested but then Gulliver’s voice cut her off.
“Of course, I can carry her into the restaurant.” He put his hands on January’s waist and pulled her backwards and pushed her in the direction of one of his security agents. “Take her in and get her seated. We’re right behind you.”
“Her car seat,” January started to speak.
“Again, I have a nephew her age. I’ve spent enough time with him to know how a car seat works, January. Get inside out of the open parking lot please. It’s not safe.”
“Yes Gulliver,” she muttered meekly as she noted her parents were already entering the restaurant under the protection of a couple of men.
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Entering the restaurant, she looked at the agent at her 4/6
side, “I need the washroom. Can you clear it please?” Memories of such events needing to take place were flitting to her mind and she waited while he waved another person to check the washroom, make sure it was clear and then allowed her to go in.
By the time she exited the washroom, her parents were seated at a table at the far side of the restaurant with
Thisbe, Gulliver, and Kaylee. They were all smiling at something Kaylee was doing. She stood there staring at the group. They looked like a happy family. She was standing in her melancholy, heart ache, with an anger and a fury inside her that wasn’t jiving with the group sitting in the corner. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she didn’t belong.
“Ma’am,” one of the guards was edging her back to the table and she shook her head and made her way to the group, her feet feeling leaden. The desire to simply go back to the car and pretend none of this was happening was welling inside her and she wasn’t sure she was strong enough not to snap and freak out.
It felt all too much, too familiar, and too normal on the outside but inside, it felt contrived and painful. The question was, could she tolerate the pain to blend in with?
the crowd.
