Wind Carved Names Into Silence by Zex Hollow 56

Chapter 56 

Yeah, Max stayed here with us. Sadly, 9 months later he died in his sleep but I’m glad that he got to stay with bottle until the ent 

We cremated him and we had his ashes put in a necklace for when Lottie was older. I also kept a photo of both of them for her. He loved 

her so much and I’ve always made sure that she knows that.” 

“Does she know about her mom?” 

“Yeah, she started asking about her when she was around 5 however, I managed to hold her off until she was 13. Just after her birthday, she asked about her again and I told her everything because I thought she deserved to know and I felt she was old enough to handle it but still I was surprised at how well she did take it. She doesn’t talk about her much anymore but she knows I’m here whenever 

she needs me.” 

“When you made it clear that you didn’t want me as your mate I got it, it happens sometimes but I get it even more now. Only whereas before I thought it was that you just didn’t want a mate or that you didn’t want me, I now see that there’s so much more to it and I’m guessing trust is a big part of it?” 

“It is. While I learned to live with what happened, it still scared me but I don’t think what happened with the Rogues has much to do with it anymore. Not knowing what happened is a factor but having Lottie’s mom do what she did to me was a massive blow and it wasn’t just that, a few years after that happened I started seeing a woman from a neighbouring pack. I gave it my all only for her to cheat on me with the pack Beta 5 months later.” 

“Then about a year after that, I met a she–wolf from another pack, we started up something but I didn’t trust her, and I made sure she knew it even if I didn’t mean to. She was a lovely girl and didn’t deserve how paranoid I was. Within a few weeks she ended things and I didn’t blame her. She deserved better. Our breaking up turned out to be a good thing anyway as 4 months later she found her mate and they now have several pups. That was the last time I tried to start any kind of relationship with women.” 

“Did you ever want a mate? If you have had other relationships then surely you were open to having a woman in your life?” 

“Truthfully, I’m not even sure how to explain it. I know it sounds strange but for some reason in my head it was ok to be with someone who isn’t my mate, maybe it’s because I could walk away at any time and it would be ok, whereas if I had my mate I wouldn’t be able to just walk away, the bond would be too much to leave behind. As I said I can’t really explain it but I just knew after what Lottie’s mom did that I didn’t want my mate. I just couldn’t see myself trusting a woman as much as I would need to if it was my mate 

“I understand I think…” She nods and it’s easy to see that she’s being honest when she says that she understands but the heartache in her eyes is burning right now and it just makes me want to knock my own ass out for making her feel this way. I take her hands in mine and stare down into her eyes and watch them swirl with emotion. 

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13:22 Thu, Jan 8 M… 

Alpha Nicholas’s Little Mate