Chapter 114
Claire’s POV
I still felt like a failure, despite Ivan’s efforts to improve my moo
It was difficult not to.
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Convincing the King had always been a long shot of a plan, but it had been the only way I could think to help Gideon in his case. Now, I felt rather helpless, and I hated that feeling.
To make matters worse, now that I was away from Gideon, in the car back to Ivan’s pack, I had some time to think about other things, like the King had warned me about regarding Ivan and his possible feelings for me.
Misplaced feelings.
I wondered now what kind of similarities I had to his lost love. Did we have things in common or was he just mourning enough to want to have anyone near him that even vaguely reminded him of her.
Ivan and I were just friends anyway, but I couldn’t deny the mood between us had turned somewhat awkward. I didn’t know what to say, or even how to address this topic to make things more normal between us again.
“Claire,” Ivan said, after a bit more silence. “You’ve been quiet. Dill seeing Gideon truly upset you?”
It had but that wasn’t why I was quiet now.
“The King said something to me…”
In the corner of my eye, I watched as Ivan straightened slightly. I turned my head to look at him fully.
“What did he say?” Ivan asked.
Rather than answer that question, I asked my own instead, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me more about the woman you loved and lost? For as long as we’ve known each other, you haven’t liked to talk about her, and I wish I knew more about her.
“I see,” Ivan said. He paused a moment. “She was very beautiful, and very kind. She would have done anything to help those around her. But she was strong too. She wanted to do right in the world, but she wasn’t going to be manipulated or pushed around. I admired her very much.”
I tried to envision her in my head, the kind of woman that Ivan would be attracted to.
I bet she had a quiet kind of beauty, understated and dignified. Her kindness was likely only mirrored by her strength.
She sounded wonderful, and I could see why he would be enamored with her, even now after her death.
“She was taken a long time ago,” Ivan continued, his voice softer now. “I have been working to move through the grief of the past. I’m hoping to find someone now to care for in the present?
His eyes carried weight as he looked at me with meaning.
Was he planning on moving forward with me?
I remained uncertain, and unable to hold the weight of his gaze, I looked away.
Clearing my throat, I changed the subject. “I will need to return to Gideon’s pack as soon as possible. I don’t want him to connect the dots between the woman he saw at the banquet and Raven.”
Ivan turned his head, facing the window. Though his voice now showed no hint of disappointment, it had gone a bit steely.
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10:51 Fri, Jan 23
Chapter 114
“Of course.”
A blanket of awkwardness fell over us once more, and this time we stayed silent.
Gideon’s POV
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On the long ride home, I couldn’t stop thinking about Claire–articularly, the feel of her in my arms. Holding her had been like lightning jolting through me, shooting nostalgia through my bones.
She would not admit to being Claire, but I remembered the feel of her. Her face. Her scent. It had all been the same.
I had utmost certainty that the woman had been Claire. What I didn’t have were answers.
Why hadn’t she made her presence known? Why did she not try to return for Leo? What all had she gone through since she disappeared?
Would I ever see her again?
For the last question, I had to believe that I would. I knew where she was now, at Ivan’s, and I could reach out to her there. That Ivan, my ally, had been shielding her from me was frustrating, as was Raven’s omission of the topic, as well. Raven, in particular, I had thought of as a friend at one point.
Now, I wondered. What else was she keeping from me?
Unless they were the same person. But that still didn’t explain the secrets. That only made things even more confusing.
When the car pulled up in front of my pack house, I crawled out of it with a new kind of weariness in my bones. I had truly accomplished nothing tonight.
Before heading to my own chambers, I stopped by Leo’s, wanting to make sure he was alright. Opening his door, I was surprised to find that his light was still on. Despite the late hour, Leo was still awake, sitting upright in his bed. He had been reading, but upon seeing me, he tossed his book to the side and rushed toward me.
I opened my arms just in time to catch him in a hug.
“You should be asleep,” I said.
“I was too excited,” he replied. “I want to hear everything about the party. Was the king there? Was there music? Did you me a new mommy?”
The last question made my chest ache. I couldn’t tell him that I had found his birth mother.
Instead, I verbally dodged around the question, telling him about the banquet. “The Alpha King was there, and I had to stand in a long line to greet him. He had an orchestra that played while couples danced.”
“And the food?”
I told him all about the buffets and the appetizers.
“Was it yummy?”
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I hadn’t really eaten much of it. I had been too busy with trying to convince the king and then Claire. But it had certainly looked good. I was certain that the Alpha King wouldn’t hire any but the very best chefs.
“It was delicious, I’m positive.”
Leo nodded, accepting that. Then he looked up at me again. “Dad, you said there was dancing. Did you dance with anyone?” Hope was bright in his young eyes.
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10:51 Fri, Jan 23
Chapter 111
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“I…”I didn’t want to lie to my son. But, if I told him too soon about Claire. He was so young, he likely wouldn’t understand. It would hurt him to know that his mother was avoiding him. “I did dance with someone, but
“Will she be my future Moin?” Leo asked at once.
“Uh…”
The last thing in the world that I wanted was to break my son’s figart, but if I didn’t now, Claire might later. She was staying away for a reason, keeping secrets for a reason. Until I knew what those reasons were and if they were good ones, I needed to protect my son from the potential hurts her appearance and possible disappearance in our lives again would bring.
For now, I ruffled his hair, making him laugh.
“You’ll always have me, Leo. Isn’t that enough?” I asked.
“Sure, Dad.” He worried his hands together. “But… wouldn’t it be nice if you had someone too? A Luna, to help you?”
His care for me made a lump form in my throat. After I swallowed it down, I said, “I don’t need a Luna. There’s nothing your dad can’t do on his own.”
His brow knitted as he nodded, uncertain. A quiet moment hung around us, before he spoke again, “When is Raven coming back?”
“I’m not sure,” I said.
I didn’t want to tell him that I wasn’t even sure if Raven would be coming back.
I’d seen Claire. That secret was out of the bag.
Would Raven even want to come back now?
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