Wind Carved Names Into Silence by Zex Hollow 258

Chapter 58 

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“When you made it clear that you didn’t want me as your mate I got it, it happens sometimes but I get it even more now. Only whereas before 1 thought it was that you just didn’t want a mate or that you didn’t want me, I now see that there’s so much more to it and I’m guessing trust is a big part of it?” 

“It is. While I learned to live with what happened, it still scared me but I don’t think what happened with the Rogues has much to do with it anymore. Not knowing what happened is a factor but having Lottie’s mom do what she did to me was a massive blow and it wasn’t just that, a few years after that happened I started seeing a woman from a neighbouring pack. I gave it my all only for her to cheat on me with the pack 

Beta 5 months later.” 

“Then about a year after that, I met a she–wolf from another pack, we started up something but I didn’t trust her, and I made sure she knew it even if I didn’t mean to. She was a lovely girl and didn’t deserve how paranoid I was. Within a few weeks she ended things and I didn’t blame her. She deserved better. Our breaking up turned out to be a good thing anyway as 4 months later she found her mate and they now have several pups. That was the last time I tried to start any kind of relationship with women.” 

“Did you ever want a mate? If you have had other relationships then surely you were open to having a woman in your life?” 

“Truthfully, I’m not even sure how to explain it. I know it sounds strange but for some reason in my head it was ok to be with someone who isn’t my mate, maybe it’s because I could walk away at any time and it would be ok, whereas if I had my mate I wouldn’t be able to just walk away, the bond would be too much to leave behind. As I said I can’t really explain it but I just knew after what Lottie’s mom did that I didn’t want my mate. I just couldn’t see myself trusting a woman as much as I would need to if it was my mate 

“I understand I think…” She nods and it’s easy to see that she’s being honest when she says that she understands but the heartache in her eyes is burning right now and it just makes me want to knock my own ass out for making her feel this way. I take her hands in mine and stare down into her eyes and watch them swirl with emotion. 

“Bonnie, all of that was before I met you. It was how I felt until you came along. Fuck the moment I picked up your scent I knew that it was going to be harder than I thought to walk away and then I saw you and… #uck, the moment I saw you I knew that walking away from you was going to destroy me, I tried to ignore that thought but it was still there.” 

“But you only saw me for a few seconds before you ran from me. How could you think so much in so little time?” 

“It may have only been a few seconds but I stored the image of you in my head and kept replaying it. After I was stopped from my attempt to hide out in my office and drink the night away, I came back to the ball and spotted you within a minute, and even though I tried my best to avoid looking at you I rarely did. Storm didn’t help matters either” 

“I don’t want you to do something because you feel like you have to or that you need to, I promise I won’t hate you, if anything I’ll always respect you for being honest with me. Dispute what you say about yoursel and dispute your reputation for being known as an angry grumpy Alpha, I just want you to know that I don’t see you as any of those things not really. I’m honestly glad that I got to meet you and I’m even more glad that we got to talk and I got to know more of the real you. It helps me now and I know that it will help me in the future. 

D 

The more she talks the more I start to panic and while I appreciate what she’s saying it still doesn’t take away from the fact that she sounds like she’s leaving this place and me behind and I can’t let that happen, Ion’t. Moon goddess, please help me here, I’m begging you! 

“Why don’t you go for another run?” We’ve been sat in silence for several inutes and she throws me with her words. Of everything she could have said I did expect that. ‘I’m fine right here, darling.” She shakes her had as a small smile blesses her face and again I find myself wanting 

form trying to take over control. I can’t imagine how hard it must to kiss her. “No, no you’re not. I can feel how tense you are and I can see have been for you to tell me everything but, I can imagine that you have lot of anger and emotions that you need to work through and we all know that a run is the best way to do that.‘ 

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15:57 Sat, Jan 31 

Chapter 58 

大70% 

She’s right, it is the best way to work through things but at the same time I don’t want to leave her, not yet anyway. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want you to think I just run when things get tough.” 

She shakes her head and after several minutes of going black and forth, she somehow managed to not only convince me to go for a run but that she also didn’t need anyone to keep her company while I was gone. Of course, I had guards on the door before I had even left but still, watching her telling me how it was going to happen and seeing that little ball of fire pop back out showed me more than ever that one day she would be one incredible Luna, and be a Luna she will be. 

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