Chapter 153
Chapter 153
Gideon’s POV
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To my relief, things with Nova started to get better after the portait. She didn’t act out as much, with no more vandalism. She even kept a few of my gifts now. Her attitude was also slowly warming toward me, and while we weren’t as close as Leo and I were yet, she was at least talking to me now instead of scoffing or avoiding me.
To continue to help things along, I knew that I needed to give her more reason to trust me. That meant that I had to confront the past and the terrible things I had done. I didn’t expect her to forgive me, but if she had full knowledge of all that happened, maybe she would at least understand how things happened as they did.
I sat her down after breakfast one day and I told her, “I made mistakes back then. I had trusted the wrong people. Those people had purposefully lied to me about how things were. They hated your mom, and they hated me. I just didn’t know it at the time.”
Remembering sent an ache through my chest, so I placed a hand over my heart to try to soothe the pain.
“The misunderstandings added up,” I said. “Outside players wormed their way into our lives and helped drive our little family apart.”
“You didn’t protect us,” Nova said, her voice small. She was so very young, yet still old enough to know what I had done. Her words were pointed, sparing me no kindness. It was no less than what I deserved, in truth.
“It was my fault,” I told her. “I should have protected you, and instead I believed the lies against your mother. When I had sent her away, I only wished for her to be taken to one of the cabins on the outskirts of the pack, where she could be safe. Someone… went behind my back to try to have her killed.”
“Do you feel bad?” Nova asked me.
“Every single day,” I told her. “Nova, I’m so sorry for everything. want us to have a good friendship if nothing else. Though I hope one day, you will want to see me as your Dad.”
Nova considered this a moment, her face scrunched up with her thinking. Then she said, “I don’t think you should apologize to me.”
“No? I let you
down.”
“Yeah, but you let Mommy down worse. I wasn’t even born yet. Mom is the one who had to run and almost died. If you could make it up to her, then I would forgive you.”
I knew she was right, but proving that to Claire was going to be so much more difficult. She didn’t seem like she could even stand to be on the phone with Gideon, much less in the same room long enough for them to talk this out.
I doubted Claire would believe me even if I tried to explain everything and prove myself to her.
Yet, didn’t I have to try? I had hurt them both with my ignorance, and then even recently, I had thought her capable of betraying me with Ivan. How many times did I have to suspect her before I realized that she had always been on my side?
I was the villain here, pressed on by those who meant to hurt us both.
“I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt,” I said.
“Maybe…” Nova said, which was much more than she had allowed me in the past.
With my daughter, I was at least making some progress, slow and painful as it was.
“Maybe we can try..” Nova started then stopped. After a moment she started again, “Like… maybe we could try the father- daughter stuff for a while…”
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09:14 Mon, Feb 2D D
Chapter 153
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10 vouchers
Looking at her, Filted my head a little. “Like a Daddy trial perio?” Lasked, trying to keep things light, even though inside was as frightened as I had been on the battlefield. I never let fear lefeat me, but I still felt it. Nova was a more formable force than any rogue, especially when I wanted to earn her daughterly love.
“Yeah,” she said. “Just to see how it goes.
“I won’t let you down,” I promised her.
I was determined to do my best to never let her down again, as long as I lived. I would be the father who should have protected her long ago. She would know I loved and cared for her now.
Claire’s POV
Ivan and I decided to make the journey to the Royal Pack while Nova was still at Gideon’s pack house, not wanting to have to drag her along to something that would be so boring for a six–year–old. For me though, I was feeling some trepidation, not sure what to expect.
In addition to my question of whether the Alpha King would even give us his blessing, I myself was starting to have second thoughts.
I kept looking at the square ring on my finger. It was so very Ivan and that should have been enough for me. But, it was like he hadn’t considered my tastes at all.
Maybe this was about more than just a ring.
How could Ivan even know if I liked the ring, when I had lied about it? I had told him it was beautiful and let him put it on my finger, but the more I saw it, the more it dug at me.
Nothing about this relationship was perfect, but that should still have been okay. What relationship was perfect, after all?
Unbidden, thoughts of Gideon entered my mind. We had been so good together – electric. After finding him, I had thought that was it for me. I never would have imagined anything or anyone else.
With Ivan, my mind wandered constantly, ever questioning if I was making the right choice or if this was something I would come to regret.
I hated thinking of Gideon in these moments of doubt, like thoughts and memories of him had anything to offer me but more pain. I had thought myself in love back then and it had only led to the worst moments of my life.
Love was an illusion. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t needed for marriage. Ivan and I had mutual respect. He was kind and strong, a good provider and someone who made me feel safe.
I didn’t need love when I had all that.
Oddly, in pushing away my thoughts of Gideon, I started to feel more determined. Bitterness filled the space in my he where love had once filled.
I wouldn’t be that woman again, who trusted and was betrayed. I wouldn’t know love again because I didn’t want it.
In fact, because I didn’t love Ivan was the exact reason I was going to see this engagement through. We would find a way to convince the Alpha King that we were a good match and be done with all of these doubts.
This ring wasn’t perfect, but it was fine. The relationship wasn’t built on love, but that was fine too.
It was the opposite of what I had with Gideon, and that alone was enough of a reason to continue to pursue it.
I threw my clothes into the suitcase now, then slammed down the lid and zipped it closed.
I was more determined than ever.
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