Chapter 178
Claire’s POV
At the pack house, I rested comfortably in my room. I slept more fully than I had in a while, so deeply that when I awoke, I wasn’t fully aware of the time, or if it was morning or night. The colors in the sky could have been sunset or sunrise and I was too groggy to immediately discern the direction of the sun.
Rising, I stretched my arms over my head. I felt as if I had been asleep for a million years, I was so stiff. Sleep still clung to my eyes, even as I tried to rub it away.
I had never been carsick in my life, and even now struggled to imagine that was what had happened to me. But what else could it have been? If I’d had food poisoning, I would have thrown up. My stomach had never been queasy, I’d just felt hot. Feverish. Worse, like my skin was on fire.
I’d never before heard that as being symptoms of carsickness. How strange.
Well, I supposed there was no point in lingering on it overmuch. Other than feeling like I ran a marathon, I was fine today.
Leaving my room, I stepped out into the hall rather suddenly, without looking where I was going.
I accidentally plowed straight into Xavier, who had been walking, carrying a bunch of folders. He dropped them at once to catch me by the shoulders, as I teetered unsteadily.
I was immediately embarrassed, especially as the folders seemed to erupt upon hitting the floor, sending papers in every direction.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“I wasn’t looking where I was going. Let me help you.”
“Only if you feel steady.”
I did, so I knelt down to help him collect the papers. At once, I noticed that the contents of these papers… was Ivan.
Holding a dossier on Ivan’s activities, I looked to Xavier for explanation. When he didn’t immediately provide one, I prompted.
“Xavier,” I said. “Why do you have these?”
That wasn’t all there was. Included in the papers was some information on the former Luna Queen Lena, which made me even more curious and confused.
“Xavier?” I said again. I wasn’t going to allow him out of this without telling me what this was about. These files were far too damning on their own. Had Gideon been spying on my life? On those close to me?
Xavier sighed lightly. “Alpha Gideon has been trying to support you behind the scenes. He didn’t want you to know. He was researching Ivan, because he was certain that the man’s intentions toward you were not honest, especially after exposing his feelings for former Luna Queen Lena. Then, he was researching her too, trying to uncover if she might be related to you…”
I froze, unsure what to make of that.
“He only wanted to make sure you were safe,” Xavier said. Softer, he added, “He worries about you.”
“I can take care of myself,” I said, but the words were somewhat hollow. This felt… important, and I didn’t hate that Gideon had been trying to protect me. If anything, it gave me a sort of inner strength. All that time, I had thought I was alone in all
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Chapter 178
this, but really Gideon had been right there with me, unbeknownst to me, trying to help me
I wished we had the kind of relationship where he could just tell me all these things to my face
But then I remembered not reading my message from him. He had been trying to tell me. I was the one who had put up the wall, not allowing him through
“What is he researching now?” I asked. I was a princess now, our suspicions confirmed. Maybe that meant he could put research away.
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“He’s trying to find a way to help heal your wolf,” Xavier said. “We’ve been calling healers all over the kingdom, looking for someone who specializes in your particular needs”
I was speechless. He was still trying to help me?
At once, I steeled my expression, not wanting Xavier, and thereby Gideon, to know how affected I was by this, how warmed.
I wasn’t ready for Gideon to know that he affected me at all.
After we finished gathering the papers and stood again, Xavier told me, “Alpha Gideon was watching a movie with the children. I’m sure he’d like to see you now that you’ve awakened.”
I went down to the living room, following the sounds of the movie. Around the corner, from a place that Gideon and the children couldn’t see, I saw them all sitting on the couch together.
I realized the kids wouldn’t have seen me anyway, as they were already asleep. They were tucked up against either side of Gideon, with his arm around each of them. They leaned on him, using him as a pillow, as they snored slightly
It was a beautiful moment, the kids so trusting and calm. Even Gideon looked content, his features soft, a gentle smile on his face as he glanced from the television screen down to each of the children, looking at them with pride and even… love.
My heart swelled, though I tried to ignore it. I wasn’t ready yet, for these kinds of feelings to be the norm.
Gideon would betray me soon, wouldn’t he? He had to. He had in the past, just as I had gotten comfortable.
I shouldn’t dare to trust him again.
And yet…..
Like he could hear the quickening of my heartbeat, Gideon looked up and over, catching me hiding around the corner.
He gestured to the sleeping kids, and we smiled at each other.
Later, after we had carried the kids upstairs and tucked them into their beds, I found myself in the quiet hallway with Gideon.
“There is something I wanted to discuss with you, now that you are doing better,” he said.
“What is it?”
“Now that you are here, and now that you know of your lineage, I’ve been unsure of what to call you in front of others. I have kept things vague for now, but would you like to stay Raven while you are here? Or would you rather be Claire now that we know the truth? Either is fine, but I will leave the choice to you”
I considered this a moment. I had only used Raven as my persona as a means to hide my identity from Gideon. Now that he knew, and now that things were mostly resolved, I didn’t see any reason to keep the secret any longer, from anyone else.
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“I’m Claire,” I said.
“And your lineage?”
“I don’t care if people know,” I said.
He nodded. “When you are feeling up to it, I’d like to hold an event to celebrate your return to the pack.”
“I don’t know if that’s necessary… I can’t imagine anyone would care.”
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Gideon lightly shook his head. “You have many friends here, Claire. People haven’t forgotten you. There are many people, not just me, who had been hoping for your return.”
That couldn’t possibly be right. Sure, before I’d been cast out, there had been some I talked to, but…
Friends?
I tried to think back but my memories of that time were somewhat hazy.
Could it be that my hurt of the past, my trauma, had tainted my memory of how things had been?
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