Chapter 180
Claire’s POV
By the time we returned back the pack house, that flicker of mate bond feelings had dissipated. However, I had been certain. that I had felt it, and wasn’t likely to forget it.
I just didn’t know it meant, or if I was ready to face the truth of what it could mean.
It was too heavy, too real. I had only discovered the truth of my lineage, and was still recovering from that strange illness I had suffered. I didn’t know yet where I was going to live, or what I was going to do for work for the rest of my life.
My life was awash in change. I wasn’t in the kind of steady place I needed to be in to be properly sorting these kinds of feelings out right now.
Yet, the Moon Goddess was not patient. And her will wasn’t easily ignored.
Though we split for that night without issue, since that night, I had found myself… paying more attention to Gideon than I had before.
Yes, I was always attuned to him, aware of his presence wherever he was and if he was near me. And it wasn’t like I didn’t know he was handsome before, either. He was a good–looking man who only seemed to get even more handsome with age, like a fine wine.
But since that night, I felt my gaze draw to him whenever we were in the same room. It was as if I was caught in a tractor beam, his aura dragging me in. I couldn’t look away.
I studied the plains and valleys of his face, the sturdy ridge of his nose, the hard cut of his jawline. His smile was breathtaking, so perfect, with his eyes narrowing slightly. And his laugh…
Gods, that laugh could start wars. It was devastating.
All of this, I had known before. But for some reason, now, I was noticing like it was something new. It felt so much more impactful now. And it all made my heart race and my cheeks flush like I was a schoolgirl with a crush.
When he carried something, my arms at once when to his arms, seeing the bulge of his muscles in the fabric of his shirts. He was strong. Capable. He could protect. Cherish. He could also hold me, carrying me, and pin me to the wall when I wanted to have my mouth on him and his…
I shook my head, clearing it.
At that moment, he spotted me watching, and walked toward me. He was smiling. He lifted one of his hands in a small wave.
Those hands. So big, with some callouses. I already knew how they would feel against my skin.
“Claire, how are you feeling today?” he asked.
“Fine,” I said, only able to utter the one word in my panic before I turned and fled from the room. I didn’t even try to hide what I was doing. I was so desperate to get away, I couldn’t even think to be more subtle about it.
Only later, did I realize what I must have been doing to Gideon. And I felt like an asshole.
My feelings were so confusing.
I didn’t want to allow myself to fall for Gideon again, knowing how poorly it worked out last time. Even with the Moon Goddess’s apparent intervention, I was trying to fight against my attraction, my desire, and my… warmer feelings.
1/3
3:21 pm
Chapter 180
Gideon would be a good mate. A dedicated father. A fantastic lover. A protector, a provider. The list could go on
But just because I could acknowledge he could be those things, didn’t mean that he had to be those things with me,
He’d had his chance in the past, and he’d thrown me to the side.
I couldn’t forget that, despite the confusing feelings that were reemerging now
“Claire,” Gideon said from behind me.
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Had he followed me? Hadn’t my fleeing been a clear enough indication that I didn’t want to talk?
“I’m sorry,” he said at once. “I didn’t mean to startle you. But.. we need to talk about this, Claire. Something happened between us and if we don’t address it, I’m afraid that –”
“Excuse the intrusion, Sir,” Xavier said, dipping his head around the corner of the doorway. “We have an honored quest
“A guest?” Gideon asked. He dropped the conversation to look at Xavier, and I allowed myself a breath of relief.
“Yes. Alpha Ivan has crossed the border,” Xavier said. “He wants to visit with Claire.”
Gideon started growling, like it was reflex. Almost instantly though, he cut himself off. He cleared his throat, trying to hide what he had just done. Without looking at me, he said, “Claire, if you wish to visit with him, that’s up to you.”
He came all this way. Perhaps he had important information. At the very least, he could save me from this conversation.
“I’ll meet with him.”
Half an hour later, I was sitting in one of the side rooms, greeting Ivan. Tea was being served, place on the coffee table before us, but neither of us were drinking it.
“I thought it had been long enough,” Ivan said. “I just wanted to make sure that you and the children were settled. And that you didn’t need… anything.”
He was being diplomatic with his words, but I knew him well enough to know that he arrived here to make sure the kids and I didn’t need a rescue.
“I’m settling in well,” I assured him, telling him subtly that I was okay being here. Coming here was my choice.
He nodded.
That was likely the only reason he had come, and I was grateful that he cared enough for me to do so. Though our engagement had failed miserably, I hoped that we could still be friends.
“While you are here,” I said. “Maybe you could tell me a few things about my mother.”
“Lena?” Ivan seemed surprised. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk about her with me. Perhaps George would be more appropriate…”
“There are things he won’t talk to me about,” I said. “The… not as happy moments…”
“You want to know about her death,” Ivan said.
“Please,” I said. “I know next to nothing about it.”
2/3
3:21 pm
Chapter 180
PPD
“Not many people do,” Ivan said. “Her death was something of a mystery. Even after all this time, nothing has been confirmed. I still firmly believe she was poisoned, though… I’ve never had any evidence.”
“Was she sick?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ivan said. “She would have bursts of fever, running so hot that she would practically sweat herself to death. My brother insisted that she was just not feeling well. He even blamed an early change of life, but she was far too young for that. And she’d just had a baby.”
“She was… hot?” I asked, remembering how I had felt on the car ride home. I didn’t want to consider that if she had been sick, perhaps it was genetic. Lightly I shook my head. I felt fine now. I hadn’t succumbed and I hadn’t felt that way again since.
But… pain rose up inside of me, realizing that this was how my mother must have felt in her final moments, frightened and in distress. Without knowing why.
“If it was presumed to be illness, why did people assume I died as well?”–I asked.
Ivan’s already harsh features hardened even further. I regretting sending him into this painful past, but I had to know. He was the only one who had been willing to tell me.
“I had been told at the time that both mother and daughter had succumbed to the same illness,” Ivan said. “But… we know now that Daniel had spirited you away. My theory of poisoning rings truer now than ever before.”
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“If Lena had been poisoned, and Daniel knew it, he could have taken you to protect you,” Ivan said. He shook his head. “Unfortunately, with him gone now, we have no hope of asking him.”
Ivan was right, and regret filled my heart. Maybe we would never find the truth of what happened to my mom.
3/3
AD
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