Chapter 131
ATASHA’S POV
“You’re sending me back to the mansion?” I asked, frowning. “Why?”
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The words slipped out before I could stop them. Why would he apologize only to tell me to leave right after? None of it made sense.
Cassian didn’t answer. Instead, he stood and crossed the room to pour himself a glass of wine. The sound of the liquid hitting the glass was the only response I got.
My chest tightened. “You’re not answering my question,” I said, my voice sharper than before. “Why do you need me to go back to the northern walls? I’m needed here. Matron Yara just learned about my-”
“That wasn’t a question.” His voice cut through mine like a blade.
For a moment, I just stood there, unable to breathe properly. “What does that mean?” I asked, the words trembling out of me.
“It means it was an order, Atasha,” he said without looking at me. “You will go back to the mansion.”
I let out a short, disbelieving laugh. It sounded wrong even to my own ears. “An order?” My throat burned. “Is this because of my confession?”
He stilled, his back rigid.
I knew I should’ve stopped there. A part of me begged myself to shut up, to swallow the words before they made things worse, to at least keep what little pride I had left. But another part, the louder one, refused to stay silent.
Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was anger. Or maybe it was the fact that, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t going to let someone decide what I should feel or say. I had spent years keeping my head down, letting others speak for me, dictate what I could be, what I was worth. But not this time. Not with him.
So even when my heart pounded and my throat tightened, I stood my ground. I wasn’t fearless, not even close, but for once, fear wasn’t enough to shut me up.
“I know it was foolish,” I went on, my voice breaking. “I know I shouldn’t have said it. I know we started with a contract, and I’m not trying to force anything between us. But what I said that night wasn’t a lie.”
His face darkened, but I couldn’t stop. The words had already started, and I wasn’t sure I could hold them back anymore.
“I meant it,” I said, my hands curling into fists at my sides. “Every word of it. And I won’t take it back just because you’ve decided to push me away again.”
I hated how my voice cracked at the end, how I sounded less like a consort and more like a woman begging to be heard. But it was too late to care.
“And I–I won’t apologize for it,” I said, my voice shaking but firm. “What I should be apologizing for is
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Chapter 131
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something I can’t do.” I drew in a deep breath, my chest tight. “For the love of the goddess, Cassian… I can’t leave this place. I won’t. And I sure as hell won’t stay away from you.”
Cassian’s head snapped toward me, his crimson eyes flashing. “You understand nothing,” he growled.
The sound hit me like a physical blow, low and rough enough to make my chest ache. But instead of stepping back, I lifted my chin. “Then make me understand.”
He froze.
I took a shaky breath and pushed on, even though my heart was pounding hard enough to hurt. “Make me understand, Cassian. Because as far as I know, you were supposed to be out there, outside these walls, feral, gone. You weren’t supposed to know anyone. You weren’t supposed to be… you. And yet, here you are. Alive. In control.” My throat tightened, but I didn’t stop. “And while I still don’t understand everything about what I can do, I know it has something to do with it. So forgive me if I don’t understand, but I’m not staying away from you.”
I regretted saying those words the second they left my mouth. Almost immediately, his expression hardened. Anger, frustration, and something darker flickering across his face.
Cassian’s jaw tightened. For a heartbeat, I thought he might snapped. Instead, he stepped toward me, his steps slow and calculated, like he was barely holding himself back. “Why must you be so foolish?” he asked, his voice rough. “Can you not see what’s happening to me?”
I blinked, startled. “What-”
“You,” he snapped, cutting me off. His hands clenched at his sides. “You are doing something to me. To my wolf. I can barely hold myself together anymore. Every time you’re near, it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle inside my own skin.”
His words came out ragged, like each one cost him something to say. “And I don’t lose Atasha… especially not against my wolf!”
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My breath hitched. “What- What do you mean by doing something? I-”
His eyes narrowed as he took another step toward me. The air between us seemed to shrink, thick and heavy, like even breathing might set something off. For the first time since the argument began, a voice in my head told me to run… run far, before I did something stupid.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
My feet stayed rooted to the floor as his gaze caught mine. Those crimson eyes that looked so dangerous, hypnotic and alive, felt like they could burn through anything, even the fear twisting in my stomach. They were the kind of beautiful that hurt to look at, like jewels sharpened into blades.
Cassian’s throat moved as he swallowed, his jaw tightening.
“I’ve fought beasts stronger than me, poisons meant to rot me from the inside, curses meant to break my mind,” he said, his voice low but edged with heat. “And yet you-” He stopped, his breath sharp, his words dragged through his teeth.
Then he took another step closer.
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Chapter 131
The space between us was gone now, his body only inches from mine. I could feel the warmth radiating off him, smell the faint trace of wine on his breath. His chest rose and fell hard, the sound of it louder than the fire crackling behind him.
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“You stand there,” he murmured, voice rough enough to make my pulse stutter. “Looking at me like that… and you don’t even realize what you’re doing.”
My breath hitched. I didn’t move, couldn’t move. His gaze lingered on my face, on my lips, just long enough for heat to crawl up my neck. His control was a visible thing. It looked tight and fragile, and part of me, foolishly and recklessly, wondered what would happen if he lost it.
He leaned forward just slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You think I’m the danger here, Atasha?”
I swallowed hard, my voice catching in my throat. “Aren’t you?”
For a moment, he didn’t answer. His stare dropped to my mouth again, his breath ghosting against my cheek. Then, with a low exhale, he stepped back, just enough to leave cold air between us, but not enough to break the tension strangling the room.
“Leave,” he said.
This time, I frowned. Then I stubbornly said, “I won’t.”
