Chapter 199
Claire’s POV
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We wanted to head back to the pack at once, but given the late hour, we thought it best to stay here at this beachside resort until the next day.
I was anxious, barely able to stand still, but Gideon was there for me.
“Let’s spend some time with the kids,” he said. “It’s almost their bedtime anyway. We could tuck them in for the night
“I’d like that.” Being around the kids would at least help me distract myself. And they had a way of helping me be the best version of myself. I wanted to be the kind of mother that they could depend on. Being near them, even though we weren’t telling them what was going on, helped me sort through my emotions and the facts, until I felt even more determined about what to do.
We read stories to Leo and Nova and until they grew tired. Then, I kissed Nova on the forehead, then Leo. Gideon did the same but in opposing order. I glanced over as Gideon and Nova smiled at each other.
My heart swelled in my chest. Gideon was so good with the kids. He was much as he loved them.
a
proud and loving father, and they adored him as
Alongside the joy of seeing them so good together came a pang of hurt. Soon, we would all be separated again.
Gideon caught my pained expression and gave me a curio
one. I didn’t say a word in front of the children.
Both children were asleep by the time Gideon made it to the door. As we stepped into the hallway, he closed the door carefully and quietly behind us. Then he gestured for me to follow him back down the hallway to his room.
“To talk,” he mouthed.
I went with him. Once we were securely in his room, he turned to me.
“Why do you look so sad?”
“It’s not sadness exactly,” I said.
“Then what is it?”
I looked away. “When we return home, after this is over, Nova and I will likely move out of the pack house and into our own place. You are welcome to visit whenever you like, but… it won’t be the same. I guess I’m just…”
I couldn’t finish. Maybe I really was sad about that.
Lightly, Gideon lifted his finger, touched my cheek, and gently brought my attention back to him. “You don’t have to leave.”
My heart ached with temptation.
“You could keep staying at the pack house. You and Nova would always be welcome. Nothing has to change.”
Part of me wanted to give in, to stay there forever and never leave. Leo and Nova could have their mom and their dad under one roof, but…
How would I ever learn to live on my own if I kept depending on Gideon? We weren’t together, and I was a fiercely independent woman. I didn’t need a man, not even Gideon, the father of my pups.
“We can make things work… separately,” I said. “The kids will adjust.”
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Chapter 199
Gideon looked like he wanted to say more but just nodded instead. “Yeah. If that’s what you want, we can make it work.”
He didn’t sound very convinced, which annoyed me a little.
“I can survive on my own.”
“I know that,” he said.
“Then why do you make it sound like I can’t.”
“It’s not that you can’t, Claire. It’s that I don’t want you to leave. I like having you and the kids under my roof, close by where
I can protect you. I would never hold you back from anything. If you want to go, I will not hold you back. But if you want me to be happy about it, I just can’t.”
I blinked, looking at him with surprise.
“Did you expect me to say something different?” he asked.
“No, but…” Words failed me, and I looked away again. I had no idea what I was feeling. What I should be saying. I felt like I was consistently putting my foot in my mouth with this conversation.
A small bit of awkwardness pressed down over us, neither of us seeming to know what to say.
“I should probably go back to my room,” I said, even though I didn’t actually want to do that.
“Claire,” Gideon said, just as I started to turn for the door. I stopped and glanced back at him. “Would you want to go for a walk with me instead? The stars are beautiful when they are reflected on the water.”
I swallowed hard. I was excited to join Gideon on a late–night walk, but I didn’t want to give myself away too soon. “Okay.”
We walked along the edge of the water, where the waves lapped at the sandy shore. Gideon stood nearer the ocean, like he was protecting me from the inky blackness, but I would often peer around him to see the beautiful night sky, just as he said, reflected off the waves of the ocean.
“It is beautiful,” I said.
“Yeah,” he added, but he was looking right at me.
I blushed and looked away, back up at the resort. “You don’t know what you are saying.”
“I think I do.”
I shook my head. “Too many things happened between us, Gideon. You can’t mean to try to take them all back.”
“I made mistakes,” he said. “I hold deeper regrets than anyone else I know. I beat myself up for it on the regular. You don’t think I know what I’ve done? The hurt I caused?”
He stopped, then touched my arm, not just getting me to stop too but to also face him.
“Every day, I think about it. How, if I had been stronger, if I had seen through Daphne… If I had seen you, everything would be different today. We’d still be here, still searching for leads on your family, but we’d be together in all ways. I’d be able to kiss you. To hold you. We’d have been a family from the start. There wouldn’t be this distance between us.”
The moon gleamed in his eyes and there, I could see his sincerity. It made a lump rise in my throat and my heartbeat pick up speed.
I had no idea how I was supposed to be feeling, hearing him say all of this. I wanted to remain unaffected and impassive, but that would have been a terrible lie.
10:12 We0, POD TO
Chapter 199
The truth was I was affected. As he was starting to sway toward me. I was swaying right hack
The things he was saying were the things 1 had always wanted to hear him say. Now that it was happening Gods, hone t
react?
I couldn’t just cry. I was a warrior! I had faced death on the field and I had survived. Yet these admissions from him were what cut me down?
“Claire,” he said, and I had to close my eyes to hide the emotion riving within me at the sound of my name in his voice. He was speaking so gently now, like a lover would. “I am so sorry for the past, and I would willingly work every single day to make it up to you. I only ask you, please. Would you consider giving me another chance?”
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