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“I never have to wonder what I’m going to do with my life. I watch Enya struggling with what she will do. If she doesn’t become a Luna, she has no identity, or at least she doesn’t have one yet. If she’s not mated to an Alpha heir, I’m not sure that she knows what to do with her life. Me? I’ve always known.”
For the first time since we’ve been together, Tiana opened up to me. We laid on the blanket I brought for us, her head on my stomach, and looked up at the stars. We talked about her fears of not knowing what her future holds.
“What if I can’t control my future? What if I end up somewhere that I hate?” she asked.
“Then you move,” I said.
“I don’t think it’s always that easy.”
“But you already have choices,” I said, running my fingers through her hair.
“Too many choices. I’m not like Christian. I don’t know myself the way he does. I put on a good show, you know?” she asks, turning her head to look at me.
“You put on a very good show, T. You come across as nothing but confident.”
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“I’m not though, if I’m being honest. I’m terrified. What if I end up in a position like Christian is and I hate it.”
“Then it’s still temporary. You still do your best, you do the time you committed to, and then you
your life.” move on, having a better idea of what you are and are not willing to do with
“You make it sound so easy.
“It could be. I think a lot of how you feel about whatever position you take will depend on you, T. I’ll go back to the Luna position. When we first met, you’d never considered being a Luna. But you’re an Alpha female with Alphas on both sides of your family. The odds of you NOT being mated to an Alpha are very slim. What if you are mated to an Alpha heir? Are you going to reject him so you don’t have to be a Luna?” I ask.
“No. Honestly, spending the day with Enya was eye–opening. I’ve taken the management of the pack for granted. As Christian said, I’ve led a charmed life. I’ve trained hard to be a strong
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Chapter 185
warrior, but I know nothing of what it takes to run a pack. Enya was, is, amazing at it.”
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“She’s been doing it for a long time. And yes, she is amazing. I’m lucky to have her assistance for the next couple of months before she leaves for the Academy.”
She turns and props herself up on her elbow, looking at me. “I could help you. I could train with Enya before she leaves and while I can’t live here full–time, I could come every week or two to help out. Christian said you’re working hard. I know you don’t have a Gamma and even with Christian, you’re working through the muck that Dorian left you. You don’t have time to take on more work.‘
I open my mouth to tell her I’ll figure it out, but she beats me to it.
“It could be good for both of us. I could learn about pack management while helping you to more easily manage this pack. Just think about it.”
I reached up and stroked my fingers over her cheek. “I thought Luna duties were boring to you.”
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