Chapter 71
How resilient is a heart, really? How much can it endure before it simply stops? Because at that moment, more than anything, I wished it would.
Knowing he had a child was one thing. Seeing it from a distance was a dull ache was another. But experiencing it, witnessing it unfold right before my eyes, was a different kind of devastation. It was like a physical blow, stealing the air from my lungs.
I understood, in that instant, why he looked at her as if she held his entire universe. she looked so fragile and precious and I would guard her with my life too. They say fathers are your first love, your first hero. And watching him, that’s exactly what he was to her.
Her eyes, wide and trusting, found mine when he lifted her into his arms. She looked at me with an expectation I couldn’t fulfill.
I tried to paint a smile on my face, to reflect her innocent joy, but it was a flimsy mask. It couldn’t hold for long. And then, it shattered. Unwanted tears began to fall, blurring my vision.
“Are you okay,” Astor asked, his voice laced with concern. I usually find his concern concerning because sometimes his heart and sometimes he’s cold but this time I understood why. I was a fortress, always. Vulnerability was a language I never spoke, and certainly never showed, not even to him but this time I let it slip.
I forced the cracked smile back onto my lips, wiping away the hot tears with the back of my hand. My gaze fell on the little girl. She was a mirror, a startling, beautiful reflection of Alice. It was a comfort, in a strange way; she needn’t resemble her father. She carried something more profound, something of his very soul, his heart.
“And who is this,” I managed to ask, my voice rough, hoping to steer the conversation away from my breakdown, “this little girl?” Kids, though, they have a way of cutting through the
pretense.
“Why are you crying?” she piped up, her voice clear and innocent, before Astor could answer.
I swallowed, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “Because,” I said, a weak attempt at a lie, “I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you. I just… can’t help but cry.” I hoped my words, and the silent explanation behind them, would be enough.
“But that shouldn’t make anybody cry,” she stated, her small voice melting even the hardened edges of my own pain. But inside, my wolf was a hurricane of agony, of grief. I focused on her, on the need to hold myself together, for both of us.
“She’s crying because she’s meeting her niece for the first time,” Astor intervened, his voice a
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gentle shield, covering my inability to find the right words. I was too overwhelmed to construct anything sustainable.
“Niece?” the little girl repeated, her eyes widening with wonder.
+25 Points >
“Yes,” Astor confirmed. “This is your Aunt Faith. Your mother’s sister.” He said it, and I didn’t understand why. I knew, with absolute certainty, that Alice wouldn’t want to be connected to me. But the child… she was pure joy.
“I didn’t know I had an auntie,” she exclaimed, her face alight.
“I couldn’t keep in touch with your mother because I was so far away,” I explained, forcing a warmth into my tone. “But I’m back now. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young lady.” I lied.
After our short, awkward encounter, the little girl, Isabella, insisted. Since her grandparents were already there, she pleaded with her father that I join them for dinner. I tried to make excuses, but she was relentless. Eventually, I agreed.
how am I supposed to look in that house where I spent 3 years of my life hoping I would stay forever knowing that another woman has made it home.
I thought I couldn’t do it but I tend to prove myself wrong on a lot of things that have to do with my love life and my heart because I went there and I sat down on that table without looking around hoping to escape the memoriesm
From the moment we arrived, I could feel the icy glare from my parents. Their disappointment was palpable. It was clear they didn’t want me there. To spite me, Alice asked, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Where have you been for the last six years?”
The question hung in the air, a heavy accusation. I’d wanted to talk to Astor alone, to explain things to him, not to this audience. I couldn’t lie, not if he could sense my racing heartbeat, the tremor in my soul. But I wasn’t ready to confess everything. “I was in New York,” I said, the words feeling hollow even as they left my lips.
Alice wasn’t satisfied. “And what have you been doing there? Do you have a boyfriend?” Her words were a sharp jab, and we all looked at Astor when he released a low rumbling growl.
“Let’s just concentrate on our food,” Astor said, his voice firm, cutting through the tension.
I don’t know what to make of him because I thought he and I were finally going to have the conversation that we needed to have before Isabella interrupted us and he is now back at pretending like I don’t need even exist.
The worst part is that despite the fact that I’ve blocked him out of my mind I can feel like something is up with him and I just can’t put my finger on it.
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+25 Points
I tried to let it go and we started eating. But I couldn’t escape the image of them, so attentive to their daughter thoughout. They looked like a perfect family, a picture of happiness. It was a vision that made my stomach churn. I felt like an alien, an intruder.
I
I couldn’t stand it any longer. “I’m full,” I said, pushing my plate away. It was time to leave this painful charade. Time to escape the stark reality of what I had lost, and what Alice had.
I don’t care what happens because tomorrow I will leave this place.
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