Wind Carved Names Into Silence by Zex Hollow 105

Chapter 105 

Bonnie 

I wake up, and instantly my whole body feels like it has had one hell of a workout, and then I can’t help but smile when I remember that it has indeed had a workout. My life has mostly been clouded by darkness and whilst there was a loud voice that would constantly tell me that I wouldn’t get a mate, that my mate wouldn’t want me, I would still get my moments where I would imagine myself meeting my mate, him wanting me and, of course, I always wondered what my first time would be like. Although in my imagination it would take time before we got to that point. In no way did I ever imagine that it would happen so quickly, but I don’t regret it, not at all. 

When I came to his room the thought of us mating hadn’t even entered my head, but the moment he kissed me and then pinned me to the door, I quickly started losing all of my senses, then he went and said those words… those sweet words that I could see he meant, and I just forgot everything. He got me so worked up that my nerves were few and far between, and I’m thankful for that. Don’t get me wrong, it was painful at first, but nowhere near as painful as I know that it could have been and Nicky… Well, Nicky is not a small guy, so I’m grateful for how he took care of me. 

I stretch out my aching body, but I don’t feel any discomfort. I keep replaying last night’s activities in my head and quickly notice how ridiculously happy those memories make me feel. How ridiculously happy my mate made me feel and I can’t wait to see what happens next. If that was just the start and things only get better within our relationship both sexually and mentally, then I already know that I’m in for one pretty incredible life. 

Suddenly, I feel my whole body tense as that loud vice that lurks inside of me decides to rear its head. What if he regrets it? What if he wakes up and remembers seeing and feeling my scars and is disgusted? What if he just wanted to experience what it would be like to sleep with his mate? What if he said all the right things just to get me into bed? 

What if when he wakes up he doesn’t want me anymore? He didn’t mark me or even mention it, so what if he has never had any intention of doing it, and he rejects me and sends me on my way? I know that I was prepared for his rejection before, but after being with him, and after giving him my virginity, I don’t know if I’ll be as calm about it this time, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to keep going, but I’ll just have to somehow I guess. 

“Whatever you are thinking, stop it right now. I’m so lost in my feel sorry for myself moment that Nick’s deep voice makes me jump. “What do you mean?” I’m a shit liar but maybe he hasn’t figured that out yet and I can get myself out of an awkward conversation. “Dont try that crap with me. I was awake before you. I knew the second that you woke up and I felt you tense up like a bowstring and I’m surprised that you didn’t snap. We both know you’re thinking bad things and I know that I won’t like any of them.” 

I can maybe get him being aware of when I woke up. As an Alpha he has been taught to be aware of his surroundings and to not miss a trick but how the hell could he know what I was thinking? He may know some stuff about me but surely not even he can know my thoughts already. “I don’t know what you mean?” Yep, thats right, I’m still trying my luck. 

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